Moving Slowly

I seem to be moving very slowly these days. I've been having a hard time getting up in the morning, and the snow outside sort of depresses me. I've never been a winter creature. But it is beautiful outside. The snow has frozen to the branches of all of the birch trees and I sort of feel like I am living in a black and white movie. Everything is shades a grey, black, and white. As such, the drive to work has been slower, walking outside on the ice is a slow and tedious process, and I find myself needing a few extra minutes of sleep every day.

It's strange to know that someone will still be interested in me despite how damaged I have become. And I don't just mean interested in getting some, I mean actually interested in me as a whole. It's strange to realize someone remembers the things I tell them, wants to talk to me, and seems happy from one kiss. For a while I felt that my unhappiness was contagious-that anyone around me would be infected by my bitterness. I guess not. I find that I can't really be sad anymore when there are reasons to be happy. I realize that someone will find me attractive and unique and be happy to be with me. I'm not as damanged as I thought. And even though I am leaving soon and this quasi-relationship can't last very long, I'm so glad someone has been kind to me and made me realize that there are plenty of reasons that someone would want to be with me. I love getting to spend time with someone so well-meaning and genuinely nice.

But I suppose I have too much to do to be sitting here and blogging about the details of my recent life. I find myself slowly approaching the end of my semester. Grades okay, bank account expanded. Mission accomplished. Almost.